Dynamis / Golem
♡ Empyreum Ward 17, Plot 2 ♡

Welcome to Lizard Soup™ - a quaint and cozy cafe-slash-bathhouse situated in the Empyreum. Owned by Eve Malqir and operated by Berude Borlaaq, Lizard Soup™ is built and run by lizards for lizards.
That said, we are not an exclusive club!
When you’re here, you’re lizard™.

Open every Sunday

Staff will be on premises from 5pm until 8pm EST
The first Sunday of every month, Lizard Soup™ will be an
active vendor at Reunion Market Trading!

♡ Crystal | Mateus | Reunion ♡
RMT Carrd

Lizard Soup™ - Upcoming Dates

  • 3/29 (Sun) 5 - 8 pm EDT

  • 4/ 5 (Sun) CLOSED

  • 4/12 (Sun) Reunion Market!

  • 4/19 (Sun) 5 - 8 pm EDT

  • 4/26 (Sun) 5 - 8 pm EDT

  • 5/ 3 (Sun) 5 - 8 pm EDT

Beru Brawl™ - Season 1

  • 1/11 (Sun) 4 pm EST

  • 2/16 (Mon) 4 pm EST

  • 3/21 (Sat) 12 pm EDT

  • 4/18 (Sat) 12 pm EDT

  • 5/23 (Sat) 12 pm EDT

  • 6/30 (Tue) 7 pm EDT Championship!

Rules™

Please follow the rules! They are designed so everyone has a good time. We issue no warnings. We can and will remove any and all bad actors from the venue with great expedience.

  • Nothing naughty in the tubs! If you absolutely must be inappropriate, keep it away from public eyes.

  • No fighting or drama!This is a place to relax with good company and great food. Leave the baggage at the door.

  • All are welcome. However, if you treat others with disrespect or rudeness, you will be removed. No exceptions.

  • If you are bathing, please wear proper attire. A changing room and showers are provided for your convenience. Nudity is allowed for all races, but Lalafell are asked to please remain clothed.

  • Diving and splashing are both welcome and encouraged!

  • The outdoor tub and tented picnic area may be used as well! If you are planning on spending your evening out there, let me know so I can be sure someone checks up on you periodically!

OOC Additions

Rules maintained in full despite the loss of sync, for ease of fixing if/when sync returns.

  • For clarification on the first main rule. Keep any and all NSFW roleplay strictly to private chat channels, where everyone can consent to the activities. NSFW animation mods are strictly prohibited in the syncshell.

  • Please refrain from using mods with loud sounds and other such things that will disturb the guests.

  • Please dismiss any minions that are irrelevant to your character’s plot when on premises, but please feel free to bring in your minion if it IS relevant!!

  • This is a fully immersive, in-character establishment. Please limit out-of-character chatter and clearly delineate it when you do engage in such. If you want to hold full unrelated ooc conversations, please take it to private channels.

  • While this is not a lewd venue, we do require that all characters engaging in roleplay on the premises and their players are aged at minimum 21+, due to the presence of alcohol and potential nudity.

WiFi

We broadcast wifi during open hours on Lightless!

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Staff™

Berude Borlaaq

Your premier bartender, food runner, and hostess, Berude is here to cater to your every need as long as you stay! She hopes that this little slice of paradise will soothe the aches and pains of the road and bring comfort to everyone who visits.

Azami Kogane

Azami is half-fish, born deep beneath the ocean (like her fellow fish). Currently, she's proving how cool she is by being Beru's #2 in running this little venue with her! When she's not trying to convince people to drink butterfly pee, she's downright adorable.

Sorakhali Qalli

The singiest songbird of the Steppe joins Beru's eclectic band of besties, bringing her sing-song nature and friendly air to Lizard Soup™! She is also the namesake of the small size of our signature buuz (the reason for which is obvious) and Beru's #2 bestie, these days, since she's now one of only two people cool enough to work with her to bring joy to the lizard community.

Chef Snippy-Snips III, Esq.

Chef Snips has been Berude’s closest friend and confidant since she arrived here in Eorzea. She trusts him with everything - especially the cooking of the food at the venue. You might think a crab lacks the manual dexterity to mix drinks or carefully prepare buuz - but you would be wrong about the buuz! He can’t mix drinks for safety reasons.
That’s Beru’s job.

Want to join the staff? Come out to one of our open nights and talk with Berude or Azami about your intentions! We operate solely out of our own pockets, so there is no pay, but also no obligation. Come when you can, stay as long as you can, and most importantly, just have fun!

Socials™

Lizard Soup™ is a subsidiary of the Journey's Garden Adventuring Company!
To link up out of game, you can join the JG discord server (linked below)
and grab the Souper™ role for announcements and opening reminders!
The other link will take you to the Journey's Garden carrd.

Menu™

♡ Pared down for Reunion Market Trading ♡

Hi! I'm Berude! This whole venue - Lizard Soup™ - is all about bringing the community of Xaela and Raen together with shared camaraderie under one roof, once a week, to share stories, share space, and stay in each other's lives. If you appreciate what we are doing at the market, we would love to see you back at home in the coming weeks, Xaela or otherwise.When you're here, you're lizard™.

Munchies™

Toyo's
Cookies

Lizard-shaped cookies baked with Beru's own special sugar cookie recipe, fine-tuned specifically for pre-eminent sweets-lover Toyo. Iced with various colors and designs to suit a variety of tastes.

Lizard Soup™
Buuz Dumplings

Savory dzo-meat dumplings wrapped in thin, blue-dyed pastry. All served small for this special event! Flavored with a spicy blend of spices sourced directly from the Azim Steppe, this recipe was devised with tender affection, specifically to bring a light to the lives of lizards everywhere.

Soup™

Berude's Own Dzo Beef Stew

An old family recipe, developed by my mother on the Azim Steppe and passed on to me before she passed on herself. Uses a secret blend of spices to perfectly accent the succulent beef to really bring forth its rich flavor.
♥ From my heart to your stomach. ♥

HOT Ramen Noodles

A smooth umami broth with your choice of spice - none, medium, hot, or HOT (yell it) - filled with thick ramen noodles and a variety of toppings! Choose any or all of: boiled dodo eggs, nori squares, lobster tail, cucumber, broccoli, carrots, onion (rings, not fried), or buuz.

Hot Stone™ Massage

In the back right corner, beneath the cafe overhang, is a heated stone platform upon which anyone is welcome to lounge. Note that the stone is hot, not merely warm, but it is in our nature to seek out and relax upon the warmest of the rocks, after all.

Berude is a licensed masseuse and is always willing to provide her legendary hot stone massage for anyone who requires a good bit of relaxation. This session needs to be booked during off-hours, though you can feel free to show up during opening times to schedule an appointment!
The various offerings are as follows.

  • ♡ Just the Basics ♡ provides a cursory overview. Deep tissue massage, hot stones to loosen the muscles, and oils to care for scales and skin. The basics generally only covers neck, shoulders, and back.

  • ♡ Extremities ♡ will cover arms and legs as well, making sure your muscles are loose and relaxed for your next bout of exercise.

  • ♡ Flip-side ♡ will have you roll onto your back and apply the basics to your chest, abdomen, and ribcage.

  • ♡ Intimates ♡ will ask for a full-body massage, including glutes and other intimate areas of the body, ensuring full relaxation.

No part of the body will be touched in ANY way without full and explicit consent

For those who are unaware, a hot stone massage utilizes oven-hot stones in order to disperse heat throughout the muscles of the body to induce natural relaxation of the body. This, combined with pin-point massage and specific, practiced motions, provides a deep, meditative experience that will leave the client feeling calm and mindful.

Though it is not required, it is often the case that patrons strip down for such services. Despite this fact, I must emphasize that this is NOT an inherently erotic service, though such reactions to the process are not strange. This is a professional masseuse providing a professional massage service to interested clientele. Do not request a massage expecting sexual gratification.Berude reserves the right to refuse service to anyone that makes her uncomfortable during the process.
Don't be weird about it.No matter how long the massage takes (generally 2-3 hours!) absolutely no actual ooc gil is requested or expected. This is an IC service that Berude offers to all clients of her venue.
♡ Tips are appreciated, but never expected in any way. ♡

Beru Brawl™

Preliminary and exhibition matches to be held on 12/29/2025 at 7:00 PM EST
Golem's Empyreum, Ward 17, Plot 26, room 004.

The Beru Brawl is a seasonal fight-night tournament centered around once-monthly brawl nights. Berude will be running it out of her room in the Journey's Garden house!This event is entirely safe-for-work.
Nudity and other adult content will not be tolerated at the Beru Brawl™.
Yes, even Beru will behave herself.
All other usual OOC rules from Soup™ apply!To participate, you will need to:

  1. Fill in your stats on the spreadsheet under the Combatants tab.

  2. Submit a screenshot of your character taken in front of the Yan!

  3. Show up to do your matches! There will be one event each month.

  4. Fight in five matches in order to qualify for end-of-season rankings.

  5. Roleplay is required in matches.

This is a roleplay fighting tournament, not a random-rolling gamba event. The staff retain the right to disqualify participants who are not taking the roleplay seriously and just here to try and make a quick buck. We want to foster a community of roleplayers, not offer rewards for gamblers. There are plenty of venues for those activities.

Stand on the provided blue rectangle on the lofted portion for best screenshot results!
You can wear whatever you like, pose however you like, but keep in mind that the final photo for the compendium will be cropped to include only the circle created by the Unfriendly Yan wall light.

Character Sheets

Every participant in the Brawl starts each fight with 6/6 HP and 0/6 Limit.
Each combatant also has four different attributes to which they can assign points. Each character will have 5 points to spend across these 4 attributes:

  • Aim for ranged accuracy. (Hunt or Prowl)

  • Brawl for close-quarters skill. (Skirmish or Finesse)

  • Might for raw physical force. (Wreck)

  • Magick for spellcasting. (Attune)

Simply go to the Combatants tab on the spreadsheet and add your name to the next available slot. Once you do so, the row will light up! Fill out your attributes where indicated.Of note! The Beru Brawl™ has an important stipulation. In a fight, if you use the same attribute on your turn more than twice in a row, you take a penalty of rolling one fewer die on that action per additional use. If you have 3 Aim and use it every round, you roll 3 dice, then 3, then 2, then 1, then 0.
The count resets after using any different attribute.
No attribute can exceed 3 when starting out, and 4 is the absolute maximum.Participants who work with the Journey's Garden and have a Gardenia character sheet may, instead, start by porting over action values from those sheets into these (as indicated by parentheticals above). These characters may end up with more than 5 total points. If they end with fewer, apply more to reach the 5 minimum threshold.Character profiles will be added and saved here on this site, to prevent them being tampered with in-between battle sessions. Note that there will be advancement (gaining of skill points for your Beru Brawl character sheet) based on placement in the seasonal tournament. For those from Gardenia, this will function like standard character advancement!

Beru Brawl™

Combat Basics

Rolling

This is a d6-based combat system. When performing an action, you roll a number of d6 equal to your skill in the associated attribute (0-4). If the skill is 0, you roll two and keep the lowest. Otherwise, you generally read only the highest die rolled and assess the outcome below:

  • 1-3 Miss. (0 Damage)

  • 4-5 Hit. (1 Damage)

  • 6 Strong Hit. (2 Damage)

  • 6+6 Critical. (3 Damage) - At least two 6's rolled.

For a critical hit, you must roll at least two dice. In the case of a 0 attribute, a double 6 roll counts as a Strong Hit, as the highest die is discarded entirely.

Initiative

At the start of a fight, both combatants roll Resistance to see who goes first. To do so, you roll dice equal to one less than the amount of attributes in which you have at least 1 point (0-3 dice).If the highest dice are tied, compare the next highest until a victor is found. If one player rolled more dice, the other player's die is considered a 0 for that tiebreaker. On a full tie, re-roll and check again.Whoever wins the initiative roll takes the first action, typing out their attack post and tagging on which attribute they are utilizing in parenthesis (or in the text! flavor is always appreciated!)

Limit and Health

When your opponent rolls a Hit or better, they deal HP damage to you, based on the roll. If your HP ever reaches 0 for any reason, you lose the match.When targeted for damage, however, you may choose to resist the incoming damage, reducing it by 2 to a minimum of 0. When you choose to resist damage, you roll your Resistance value (the same as you roll for initiative). You take on Limit equal to the difference between their result and yours. If your roll matched or beat theirs, you instead take 0 Limit.
A critical roll for resistance sets Limit and damage taken to 0 and heals 1 HP.When resisting a Critical Hit, the value of the attacker's roll is counted as 7.When performing an action on your turn, you may choose to push yourself, taking on +1 Limit and gaining +1 additional die for the action.If your Limit ever reaches 6, either due to resisting or pushing, you may
Limit Break.

Limit Break

When you Limit Break, you make your post as usual (and are incentivized to ham it up, make it cool and flashy and extra!) and then roll for it, with the usual bonus from pushing yourself (+1 die). The results table is below:

  • 1-3 Hit! (1 Damage)

  • 4-5 Strong Hit! (2 Damage)

  • 6 Powerful Blow! (3 Damage)

  • 6+6 Critical! (4 Damage) - At least two 6's rolled.

A Limit Break cannot be resisted and as such always deals its damage directly to the opponent's remaining HP. After this damage is applied, if your opponent has fallen to 0 HP, you win your match, though you are quite exhausted. If, instead, your opponent has hung on with at least 1 HP remaining, you are out of commission, having reached your limit, and you lose.To clarify, if you push yourself while at 5 Limit, rather than performing a normal action, you instead Limit Break.

Beru Brawl™

Season 1 will run from January 1st through June 30th, 2026. On the day of the Championship bout, prizes will be awarded to all participants!

Prizes

First place will receive a Mini Yan minion!
Second place will receive a Gimme Kitten minion!
Third place and below will be able to choose from a selection of rarer minions (enough for everyone to get one) with priority choice going to the higher ranked fighters! This list will be added here once the fighter list is finalized.
(The winner and second place technically will get their pick of any minion in the prize pool, the two listed will just be the most valuable among them.)
(If Celes wins Beru Brawl™, Beru must try a glass of Cracker Water Sludge.)

Tiebreakers

Rankings will be based first and foremost on win/loss record. More wins in your 6 matches gives you a higher ranking in the overall standings. In the case of two combatants having the same rank, tiebreakers go as follows:

  1. The Rubber Match - Whoever won the match between the tied players wins!

  2. Common Foes - Compares records against common opponents.

  3. Strength of Foes - Compares the final records of non-common opponents.

  4. Arm Wrestle - Both players roll their best stat, compared like Initiative.

Combatant Compendium

Berude Borlaaq

Level: 5
Record: 2 W - 2 L

  • ░░░░ Aim

  • ███░ Brawl

  • █░░░ Might

  • █░░░ Magick

Alexsis Castagnier

Level: 5
Record: 2 W - 1 L

  • █░░░ Aim

  • ██░░ Brawl

  • █░░░ Might

  • █░░░ Magick

Mysteria Valentine

Level: 5
Record: 0 W - 2 L

  • ░░░░ Aim

  • ██░░ Brawl

  • ██░░ Might

  • █░░░ Magick

Liliana Bayaqud

Level: 5
Record: 1 W - 1 L

  • ░░░░ Aim

  • ███░ Brawl

  • ██░░ Might

  • ░░░░ Magick

Celes Brightbalde

Level: 5
Record: 2 W - 0 L

  • █░░░ Aim

  • ███░ Brawl

  • ░░░░ Might

  • █░░░ Magick

Kaneme Jizutsu

Level: 5
Record: 1 W - 2 L

  • ░░░░ Aim

  • ░░░░ Brawl

  • ██░░ Might

  • ███░ Magick

Sarva Stormshatter

Level: 5
Record: 1 W - 1 L

  • ░░░░ Aim

  • ███░ Brawl

  • ██░░ Might

  • ░░░░ Magick

Kuugha Hotgo

Level: 5
Record: 1 W - 1 L

  • ░░░░ Aim

  • ██░░ Brawl

  • ███░ Might

  • ░░░░ Magick

Match Record

  • Kaneme vs Liliana

  • Berude vs Kuugha

  • Alexsis vs Berude

  • Liliana vs Berude

  • Celes vs Alexsis

  • Berude vs Mysti

  • Celes vs Sarva

  • Sarva vs Mysti

  • Kuugha vs Kaneme

  • Alexsis vs Kaneme

???

Level: 5
Record: 0W - 0L

  • ░░░░ Aim

  • ░░░░ Brawl

  • ░░░░ Might

  • ░░░░ Magick

???

Level: 5
Record: 0W - 0L

  • ░░░░ Aim

  • ░░░░ Brawl

  • ░░░░ Might

  • ░░░░ Magick

Season Two Adjustments

  • Allow Resistance against Limit Breaks. You gain +1d to your resistance roll. When resisting a limit break, subtract your roll from their roll and take the difference as Limit. Excess Limit becomes health damage. If you have at least 1 Health remaining after this and reached maximum Limit, you can counter with a Limit Break of your own.

  • Each use of Resistance gives 1 limit plus the difference. Only on a critical resistance roll do you gain 0 limit.

  • Resistance suffers the same penalties as actions, getting -1d after 3 in a row, -2d after 4 in a row, etc, minimizing at 0d6.